This guy had a beautiful woman for a girl friend, but he was too ashamed to fuck her because of his small dick. So one day while they were at the drive-in movies, he decides that now was a good time to fuck her because she wouldn't be able to see his dick size.
Halfway through the movie, he unzips his pants, and pulls out his dick and sticks it in her hand. She than replied, "No thank you, I don't smoke"!!
黄荤之恋
此blog翻译、刊登成人笑话（含中翻英与英翻中）。任何有趣的成人笑话都可能出现在此，当然受法律保护禁止刊登的除外。
翻译力求准确，但不一定准确，也不保证英语国家人士能看得懂。
欢迎挑错、指教
文化差异是巨大的，everybody knows it.
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枣园街四号 @ 2009-02-09 12:35
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枣园街四号 @ 2009-02-04 14:04
One sunny day in February 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.' The Marine looked at the man and said, 'Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.' The old man said, 'Okay' and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.' The Marine again told the man, 'Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.' The man thanked him and, again, just walked away. The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.' The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, 'Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?' The old man looked at the Marine and said, 'Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.' The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, 'Yes Sir! See you tomorrow.' 2009年1月（华盛顿）一个阳光灿烂的早晨，一位老头在公园长凳上享受了一阵温煦的阳光后，起身缓步穿过宾西法尼亚大街，走向不远的白宫。 他向站岗的海军陆战队卫兵说：“我想进白宫见布什总统。” 卫兵望了老头一眼，回答道，“先生，布什先生不住在这儿，他已不是总统了。” 老头说声“OK”便走开了。 第二天，这同一位老头又来到白宫前向同一位卫兵说：“我想进白宫见布什总统。” 卫兵再一次对老头说：“先生，就如我昨天告诉你的一样，布什先生不住在这儿，他已不是总统了。” 老头道声谢谢便又走开了。 第三天，老头再来到白宫入口前，向已面熟的站岗卫兵说：“我想进白宫见布什总统。” 可以想象，这名卫兵这时有点不耐烦了，瞪着他说道，“先生，这是你连续第三次要求进白宫见布什总统了。我已经告诉你布什先生不住在这儿，他已不是总统了。难道你不明白吗？” “啊，我明白，我明白。”老头向卫兵说，“我只是好喜欢听你的回答呀。” 卫兵听了，赶快立正，抬起右手向老头行礼，说道，“明天见，先生。” |
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枣园街四号 @ 2009-01-14 16:15
The next day at school, the teacher watched Johnny making wagers with the other children, and she said, "Johnny, I want you to remain after class." When all the other children left the classroom, Johnny walked up to the teacher and, before she could say anything, told her, "Don't say it. I know what you're going to say, but you're a liar!!" "Johnny!" the startled teacher said, "What are you talking about?!?" "You're a fake!" Johnny continued, "How can I believe anything you tell me? You've got this blond hair on top, but I've seen your bush and it's pitch black!!" Trying to keep her composure and stay cool, the teacher said, "Johnny, that isn't true." "I'll bet a dollar that your bush is black as night!" Johnny challenged. The teacher saw her chance to teach Johnny a lesson. "Make it twenty dollars and you have a bet," she said. "You're on!" Johnny whipped out a twenty dollar bill. Before anyone could come into the room, the teacher quickly pulled up her dress, dropped her panties, spread her legs, and showed Johnny that her pubic hair was as blond as the hair on her head. Johnny hung his head in defeat. "You win," he said, handing her the twenty dollar bill. The teacher could hardly wait for Johnny to leave so she could call his father back. She reported to him what had happened. "Sir," she said, "I think we've finally taught him a lesson." "The hell we have," the father muttered. "This morning, Johnny bet me fifty dollars that he'd get to see your cunt before the day was over." |
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枣园街四号 @ 2009-01-12 16:05
There was an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Newfoundlander sitting in a bar having a few drinks together.
The Englishman says to the Frenchman, "So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?" "Well," says the Frenchman, "After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and put them all over her body. Then I gently blow them off with a soft, even breath, and that drives her wild." Then the Frenchman says, "And what do you do to drive your wife wild?" To which the Englishman replies, "After making love, I get some baby oil and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!" Then the pair turn to the Newfoundlander and ask him what he does. "Naawww you don't want to know what I do" he says. So they buy him a few more drinks and he loosens up a bit more, and again, they ask him what he does. "Well..," he says, "When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed and wipe my dick off on the curtain. And that REALLY drives her wild." |
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枣园街四号 @ 2008-11-12 22:13
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash. Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary. Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future. After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there. THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a dick. 有时间再翻译 |
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枣园街四号 @ 2008-11-10 16:35
A salesman was traveling between towns and got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. Checking the spare, he found that it was flat, too. His only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the nearest town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a pickup truck. He yelled out the window to the salesman, "Need a lift?" "Yes, I do," replied the salesman. "You a Democrat or Republican?" asked the old man. "A Republican," replied the salesman. "Get screwed!" yelled the old man as he sped off. The next to stop rolled down the window and asked the same question, to which the salesman gave the same answer "Republican." The driver gave him the finger and drove off. The salesman thought it over, and decided that maybe he should change his approach, since there appeared to be few Republicans in this area. The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked him if he were a Democrat or Republican. "Democrat!" shouted the salesman. "Hop in!" replied the blonde. Driving down the road, he can't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to him. The wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continues to ride higher and higher up her thighs. Finally, he yells, "STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!" She slams on the brakes, and, as soon as the car stops, he jumps out. "What's the matter?" she asks. "I can't take it!" he replies. "I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody!" |
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枣园街四号 @ 2008-10-24 15:33
一女子两年内离婚十一次.问其何故,摇头苦答:一任夫君是搞石油的,钻太深,受不了;二任老公消防队的,拔出来就喷,难受;三任老公建设局的,脱了又穿,穿了又脱,瞎拆腾;四任老公包鱼塘的,一连两次水干了才搞,不痛才怪;五任老公是公安局的,喜欢绑住干活,不准我动,苦不堪言;六任老公是个组织部的,光谈话,会唬人,就是不搞实事;七任老公是个搞古玩的,整天轻手轻脚捧着看,比真搞还难受;第八任老公是个外科医生,不见血不停手;第九任老公是科技局的,整天吵着要创新;第十任老公是税务局的,整天就知道睡,睡,睡.最后一个老公是公务员,就知道走"后门"
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枣园街四号 @ 2008-10-22 12:34
Top 10 Differences Between Men and Women |